baby license

you have to have a license to drive a car and get married, but you dont have to have a license to have a child! that is ridiculous! there are way too many people that are over populating the earth and creating criminals. im not against the duggar family having 19 kids [and counting] because they are caring parents and dont live off the government! im against people having children and not raising them to be the best people they can be, or not even raising them at all. china has the right idea by limiting people to only 1 child. they are going in the right direction [maybe a bit extreme but its the thought that counts]. there needs to be a test implemented to weed out these crazies. and this test isnt going to be multiple choice either. it is fill in the _______ bitches. and if you cant read or write then you need to learn how and try again.



by giving tests to hopeful parents, it can prevent the over population of the earth. we all know the reason this earth is going down hill [or down universe in this example], is because of humans. humans even know the effects of over population! there are jobs for people that count the number of animals in herds to make sure they have enough members. and when there is too many, that is when they offer hunting licenses!! [how would you like to be hunted by bears??] they actually have licenses to kill animals from over population but no licenses to have human babies.



we can also make sure that there are smart, nuturing people raising children, there are always exceptions of course [let us not forget the blog about ugly people]. but im sure this would reduce child abusers and such. maybe even have the baby license only be effeective for a couple of years and then you have to reapply to make sure that your post partum isnt sinking in. and if it is, we can refer you to the methods of tom cruise or brooke shields for help.



maybe some test questions would be helpful...



1. your 5 month old baby refuses to go to sleep and has been crying for over 3 hours straight. what would you do as a new parent to calm your child?



any answers that involve putting a pillow over the babys head, giving the baby a bottle with some whiskey, or harming the baby in any way would obviously be inappropriate.



2. please demonstrate, using the cabbage patch doll you were given, how to change a diaper.



when the applicant is doing this, the test giver should make sure that they arent putting the diaper on the wrong end. it is not effective.



3. if your 5yo child colors on the walls with crayons and has been told not to do so, what is an appropriate consequence?



if the answer has anything to do with the 1, 2, 3 counting method until they run out of fingers approach, dont fail them. simply mark them down for a mandatory class involving appropriate consequences. [that counting shit just doesnt work].

these are just some things i thought of off the top of my head. granted, i dont have any little kiddies running around so what do i know?? only my professional people watching skills have made me determine that this might be necessary. i think they had it right in the movie demolition man.